Jimmy sighs, looking back at Dean as he hung up the phone. He tried to remind himself the hunter was only trying to figure everything out. It didn’t help that one of his friends shared his body.
“Sure. I could use something to eat.”
Dean led Jimmy to the car and drove to a diner. After they ordered, Dean looked at Jimmy curiously. He didn’t envy him. Dean had no idea what it must be like and Dean never wanted to.
“So… you remember Cas? But you don’t have any of his memories? You have no idea what might have happened to him?”
When they arrived at the diner, Jimmy was relieved it was a different one than the one he’d been in earlier. He orders and frowns a little in Dean’s gaze. This was not going to be an easy conversation.
“Most of what I remember of Cas, is from before. When I was talking to him. Or when I asked the second time… so that Claire could live a normal life. I don’t really…” He pauses trying to think of the word. “I’m not normally conscious. I guess is the easiest way of putting it. I don’t see all of what he sees. I get scraps of things on occasion. Like the demons face I’d seen it before. Just a glimpse really. But it was there all the same. The only thing I know is that the demon told me he’d sent Castiel back home.”
Dean sighed and looked at the window. So Cas was back in heaven. That was good he supposed. But Dean what state he was in when he returned and he had no idea how to get him back.
Someone might though.
“Maybe Balthazar could help us…” Dean was just talking out loud by this point.
He blinked then, realising something.
“Jimmy… do you want him back?”
“Balthazar…” He repeated quietly. The name seemed familiar from something. He shrugged to himself. There had been so many names in his head since the angel had taken him as a vessel it was hard to decide which were important and which weren’t.
He looked down at his hands. What did he want? In all honesty as much as he wanted to be with his family Amelia had thrown him out. Twice now. What was the likelihood she’d let him walk back in this time. From what he remembered heaven wasn’t exactly a friendly place for Castiel right now. What would happen to him if Jimmy said no this time? But if he said no. If he went back to his family. Claire was still young enough he wouldn’t miss her graduation. Or her wedding. He wrestled with the question for a long time, before he realized the answer wasn’t that he wanted Castiel back. But rather that it would always come down to Claire and himself. He looked up at Dean. “I said yes once… even begged him to let my little girl go. I can’t back down. I understood the last time, when I made the decision there wasn’t any going back.”
Dean looked at Jimmy curiously for a moment. It hit him who brave this man truly was. To give up eveything because of his faith. And some reward he’d had.
After they had finished their food, Dean stood up. “I’ll take you back to out motel, get you checked into a room. Then we’ll find Sam and Jo.”
When their food had arrived. Jimmy had eaten eagerly. Maybe he’d work that into the deal next time. Just remember to eat. He felt a bit odd eating so quickly. He’d never eaten very fast, but when you haven’t eaten in months, it’s really all you can do not to shove it into your face.
He nods at Dean. From the sounds of it the conversation with Jo would probably be one of the most awkward he’d ever experience. It felt a little like living a double life. “Alright.”
Dean smiled slightly and drove them back to the motel. They found a room for Jimmy. “We’ll sort this out. Somehow. But thank you. For… agreeing to help.” He gave Jimmy another smile before disappearing to his own room and collapsing on the bed.
Tomorrow was going to be complicated.